— August 25, 2015

Alone. Anonymous. Pachyderm. Bus Station. Bus travel. Folding Space. Third Stage Guild Navigator. Monster Truck Show. Shithouse Bitch. The Seeker and the Snitch. Blowtorch Breakfast. Blow Lunch. Brick full of Teeth. Pockets and Parakeets. Is the offspring yours? Security on The Offspring’s tours. 15 Dollar Coors. Tickets to the Canucks. Im a consecutive sellout. Or consecrated.


So I took a good friend of mine to lunch and had a long conversation about Fritz Von Erich and his wrestling territory and Texas in general.  It was his birthday yesterday.  I felt something nice was in order.  Now here, back to studying.  Got some reading done.  Found my book I thought I’d lost.  I left it in the class and the professor picked it up luckily.  It’s rainin’ like hell all of a sudden.  Like it is wont to do here in The Ugly Seattle (not real Seattle, of course).  Now the rain’s comin’ down hard and soundin like hail…not just hell.  Not sure what hell sounds like.  I think there was something about a recording of hell I heard that the Russians got hold of or something.

Well to Hell Hoax

There it is.  It’s a hoax.  Sounded super cool when I heard it though.  Super super cool.  I think.  Why do I keep saying “super” and “cool”?  Is it a new attempt at a more positive me?  Who is to know these things?  I tell you…in old country…

Demetri Martin’s new special on Netflix got quite a few laughs out of me.  I’m no sophisticated comedy fan, but I think it was pretty funny.  The hipster throw-off period is over for him for me though I guess.  I have to think of just one word to describe “Hipster Throw-off Period” better.  But I’m not that clever.  Sorry.  I leave that to you smart and wonderful people that do not read this blog.

I should probably hit the books before I look up and it’s time to go to class.

Jon Stewart —
What happened today —

What happened today

Well today, I had barbecue for lunch at a grocery store.  Surprisingly it turned out well.  Absolutely delicious.  Too much food though.  I was so tired, I didn’t even get groceries.  I went home and took a nap.  One of those super productive days.  Right?  I am a regular Cornelius Vanderbilt, engineering the empire of my dreams.

I did investigate a judo class though (and it looks like a good one and I’ll probably end up going) and did work out this morning.  So that is progress.  I did go to class and made a joke the professor didn’t understand but rolled with.  I guess that’s something.  Right?  I think I actually have to go get some groceries now though.  Man, exciting day.

My ability to Write Died —

My ability to Write Died

My ability to write died.

I’m sending out the funeral notice cards.

I’m callin in the obituary

I’m ordering the keg for afterwards

It’s gonna be Paulaner.

I’m taking the day off for bereavement.

I feel so empty

we were friends for so long

he was my wingman

or was she my winglady?

We were not as close anymore

They always talked about

getting a sex change.

Let’s say he

He had better things to do

better friends

better connections

everyone was so much cooler than me.

Sounds like I’m used to this situation?

It should.

My ability to write died.

we weren’t describing things together anymore

we weren’t being clever we weren’t

using and connecting the right hyperfigures.

I knew things were getting grim.

He was drinking too much

I found syringes

He had cuts all over him.

I stopped him from knocking back some drano

just the other day.

And now I’m trying to hire a band

but they won’t be singing my songs

not any new ones anyway.

Just the other day he called me

he called me so drunk

I couldn’t make out what he said.

He got frustrated and he hung up.

He didn’t write a will

And I’m not the executor

What a dick.

So I’m setting up the food

there will definitely be a brisket

and there will definitely be few women.

Missing him will be hard

but I’ve been missing him for a while.

And as you might have guessed

I won’t be delivering the eulogy

kinda hard to…ya know…

write it

without him.

First Post —

First Post

Well I just now discovered this thingy and I guess I’ll go ahead and put some stuff in it.  That’s what she said?  I don’t know. Was that the inappropriate time?  I like inappropriate non sequitur That’s What She Saids.  I remember I used to have a very pretentious and unfunny friend who claimed to be a master of That’s What She Said.  She stopped being my friend because I was angry at her for saying I wasn’t smart enough to be a lawyer.  Wow we’ve gone deep already.  Haven’t we?  Perhaps I shouldn’t share these things.  Should I?  Why not?  This thing has a nifty little word counter at the bottom and I like that.  I’m going to learn to use this on the fly without the manual like I usually do.   Because I’m so intrepid and American and actually lazy which I think is actually American.

This is not going to be one of those Shit on America blogs.  That’s as far as I’m going.  My TV set is more important than my mortgage.  I promise, that’s the last one.  But seriously, who doesn’t need a new giant television set every two months?

This blog may contain bad poetry and bad other ramblings of various sorts and descriptions.  This also may well be my last post.  Who knows?  Who could know these kinds of things without foresight?  Or William Forsythe?  I find my lack of faith disturbing.  I’m spiraling now.  Pathetically trying to be entertaining with lame pop culture references because I have no sturm und drang to overtake you with.  That sound really creepzilla.  Is it time to quit? It’s always/never.  Yeah, I just used a dash there very pretentiously.

I’ve been watching too much Netflix and that has little to nothing to do with my previous thought.  It’s all cheesy knight action movies.  Seriously watch Outcast.  I know Hayden Christensen and Nicolas Cage is not the ideal combo for actors and Crusaders in Crouching Tiger Era China does not sound like a great idea…but it’s a super fun movie.

I think I’m gonna quit for the moment while I’m just sorta behind.